Thoughts

9 weeks only...too short..

Sadness and excitedness surged in me.

Sadness as I can't bear to part with my dear class and friends and lecturers, sad to say goodbye to the dear school days of carefreeness though the hardwork, sad to say goodbye...

Excited to meet the new world (though with a mixture of fear), excited of the topics ahead, excited of the reflections and inspiring moments ahead to come, excited..

My mind had seemed to turn into a borderless sea with countless boats of thoughts sailing through ever since the shock of my life. They are good reflections and awareness. I guessed I would choose to count my lucky stars that I had had this experience to do some awakening in me.

I had taken to being more aware of my own well being and the tinny winny parts of me. I realised I am a bag of lazy bones who is a workaholic. One that does not really listen to the calls of the physical needs at times and focused too much on mind over body. However, I also realised that is also my strength. My strength to positive self talk and conquer self. This made me realise the importance of balance in life. Though it is troublesome and tiring to take note of both sides of the balance, it is indeed essential for long term functional status. The experiences of seniors, the scientific knowledge and the people around me had given me sufficient evidence for the need to stay healthy for work efficiency. Hence, I am certainly going to abide by that rule of thumb.

Another thing that I realise is my organisation. Through the years, my physical organisation had deteriorated. I had struggled a lot to finally cleared most of my things (oops..my table is still a little messy..haha). My administrative organisation had been worst. With the increased roles and expanding scopes, it had exceeded my memory capacity, which I accounted for my short term memory. It is time to organise myself. Not only for the sake of me, but for the people around me. It is only then that I can ensure that I can cope and expand the extent of my outreach to others and to extend my heart to all in need.

Many a times, my brain switches to the 'blur' mode and chooses to blank out. This, I know, becomes vividly clear to me tonight that I have the power to choose not to. I have to be in CONTROL of my life! If I don't, who will? No one is going to be my cloud forever, following and chauffering me around. It is time to be independent. Time for the tinny winny XUAN to meet the world...