you think i shld give up??

it's been so long..true..i'm tired everyday...dun rem ever having a break during weekends..i think i lao le...but with the thing (my NNJ) i feel even worse...i became less control of my mood...my face become blacker as the days of lack of slp extended every single day...things not reducing...yet pileing..

many a times i juz wan everything to stop...but i also noe the consequence of stopping...but how can i make this hav a turn...? i dun no...when can Lao Mu give mi an ans...i've been working hard tis while...pushing away so many chances...chances that in the past i'll never say no to...chances that will nvr be back again...

can't they c my effort?? y muz i always return back frm a day's work n receive neg...mayb it's me...

mayb Lao Mu is telling mi that i'm not doing enuff...so everything is still lik that...but i dunno where to start or continue nw...it seems lik all this while i'm juz swimming in a long lost swamp...lost my directions...

n i'm back in square one...i feel drained...no motivation le...i noe deep down my heart will nvr change...but i aso noe this is really getting out of hand le...everything will remain stagnant if i dun do anything...

but i dunno how...

Lao Mu...pls show mi the light....