wow...

yesterday was realli lik gan chang...ahhaha..interviews whole day..

nxt wk gonna start wif the POPULAR job lo...yeah...can even shop ard when work??? ahahah...hope gt time in between for us to shop a bit...hahha..mon still hav to go down to Suntec to collect time sheet frm agent...den can start work on 2 Aug!!! hahaha...

the dental one dunno how leh...think he lik wan hire mi...but i seem to b a hard case..hahah...mayb a little troublesome to him ba...having to arrange time to cook lunch for sis n that...haiz...c how la...he say will call mi b4 Aug...hopefully he wans mi...coz he really sounds lik a great guy...i mean the dentist..ahahah...

nxt wk onwards i wouldn't b working a lot at Brainsparks...oni working on Sat 9.30 am to 1 pm...

guess it's time for mi to c the world....

juz came back frm interviews...called for the job regarding Expo Book fair...haha..didn't noe it was an agency...so ow hav to run both sides b4 settled...juz went to the agent..tml morning hav to go for another wif the client...POPULAR!!!! ahahah..my fav bookstore...yeah man..so tml gg all the way to...guess where...CLEMETI!!! omg...dun even noe hw to get there...ahhaha...nvm..c the MRT dir...hahah

den tml noon 4pm gt another interview wif Dental Inn..mayb if i gt the job i shun pian gt braces??? ahhaha...den gt discounts...hahaha..

my mom very gd...though she give mi a lot of restrictions n that...make mi very hard to find jobs..but today her off day den she still bring mi to Punggol Plaza c c whether gt employment nt...den we came across Dental Inn...hahaha...thx mamee!!! luv Ya aLwAyS!!!!

ahahh...realli hope i'll gt both jobs...den no need find le...some more punggol plaza gt free bus...ahhahah...

:p

noe wat?

RaiYAn has a new treat!!! hahaha...came across another brand of treats that is of non animal origin...n she simply LOVES IT...hahaaha...went to CARREFOUR at Suntec yesterday...yorgut flavour some more...yesterday gt Qing Zu..hahaha..den my Dao Qing say wat a lucky cat...coz the treat one small pack cost $4.90!!! haahaa...once a time la...at least tis way RaiYan will gt all the nutrients she need...hahahaz...:p

finding a job indeed is a hard task..esp when i hav so many other factors to consider on...

guess i'm to young to b the one at the counters answering to patients' enquires which is so often the case, an auntie's job...hahaz...

called a few clinics...told them my age n they change tone...aren't u studying...i would lik dat...better den waiting juz to earn more money..not at all a meaningful thing to do...we come to tis world wif nth & we're gg away frm tis world wif nth too...so y bother earn it...

guess in tis world there're many things dat does nt have choices...u juz hav to take it or u'll wither eventually...

sianz...hopefully they'll call back soon...or i'll b out of job nxt wk...haiz...

* XuAn * we're all coMplex humans..no anteenas...no understanding can b bridged without communication...

guess maintainin anything is nt as easy...once u think u noe a person well..it may nt b wat u think it is..humans r so complex beings..both mentally n physically...

haha..sounds a bit depressing...juz thot of it after seeing my friend's nick...
"don always say u all understand me cos u all don.. i'm so sick n tired of tis.. y am i on tis world??"
i guess at times i dun even understand myself..wat's more to understand another being..haha..

am i juz too lazy or wat..feel so sick of tis game...apply n wait n apply again...n nw i hav to wait again to apply for poly nxt yr...sick of it...disgusted by it...but wat can i do...

mayb..tis is a time of my life to recognise things more impt in life den juz acad....family..religion...friends...

decision making is yet another exhausting matter..it squeezes ur brain real tight...juz to peeel out all the remaing brain juice in it juz lik wat the juice squeezer will do...it makeses u so restless n helpless...stuck out of nowhere...so uncertain...so lost...nobody to depend on...oni yourself...the tired u...

Horoscope: Ditch the loud parties and crowds for a while. Instead, let yourself focus inward. You have serious priorities to consider -- especially today.

sometimes, i wonder the power of horoscope readings, but they always seem to amaze mi with the accuracy of hw i feel on dat day..
before tis, i was having a 'date' wif myself...too many things to consider..

last nite, i told Brandon dat i'll b looking for another job n only coming for weekends slots frm sept onwards...didn't wan to shock him too much when it's time for mi to go..i feel so bad..he has been helping mi wherever n whenever he can these mths..but i had no choice..i need the experience out there..esp to venture out tis mths b4 i step into poly..tis is my oni chance..besides i need the money..my parents can't work forever to support all 3 of us..

haiz..

venturing out is yet another new experience..without knowing where to start...
guess everyone needs to do tis some time or the other...

hahaz..

finally cut my hair..from waist length to shoulder length..though bit 舍不得, but incredibly i realise the advantages of it

i can wash my hair and go out rite away without having to wait for it to dry..
finally i can let down my hair n go shopping..haha..previously..when i let it down in the day i couldn't stand the weather..at night..ppl ard mi couldn't stand it...haha..look lik zhen zi frm the back..

walking with my hair down..i feel the breeze welcoming mito ride with them..to bask in the open air n of coz dat cheerful smile of the Sun..nothing can be better..i've gotten rid of my 三千烦脑丝..hopefully it'll mark the start of things getting smoother for mi..LMCB...

~ iF u WaNnA c tHe rAiNbOw, u hAv tO sTaNd sOmE rAiN ~

hAiz...

tiS sUre R mY dEpResSing mOmeNtS of mY lifE....

nothing has made me so depressed n helpless before..till tis came..

sad to say, i was rejected by both uni. even after appealing, haiz..
i was bothered by the big question 'wat willl my future be' day n night. shld i retake my As? shld i go poly? shld i juz gt a course i dun even hav the interest in the first place in the private uni? shld i gt out to the society n work purely for the money?

but there're so much to juggle wif. restrictions. lack of confidence to venture out after the long period of waiting. think it's gonna knock mi out

till now i'm still in a dilemma. i hav 3 alternatives

1. retake n go to poly
2. dun retake, go poly
3. apply for retake, if can gt into physiotherapy den dun retake

c my problem..sorry to my dearest friends..haha..coz i think i've poke an enormous hole in their ears by my 'naggings'..it's not dat i wan to say n say..i juz feel so troubled..i'm so afraid to take out another step..so afraid to put in the wrong foot..so afraid..

i noe i'm a person hu noes wat i lik n hw i wan my future to b. juz dat they r so many factors to consider even before i lift my foot. being the eldest i understand my parents' expectations on mi. besides my own expectations r aso wat i would lik to achieve.

poly is indeed a longer route,but at least i'll hav a diploma..the other day i was reading an article dat sort of convinced mi..9 top reasons y u shld go poly..the one that leaves mi wif a gd impression..diploma holders r completing at an equal level as degree holders..even though i'm taking the diploma way..my final destination will definitely be degree..thus i was thinking with both degree n diploma i shld flare ok in the society.moreover, with a diploma i can gt a temp job n earn some before getting my degree..dat will lighten my parents' financial burden a little..

guess wat i wan my future career will be as follows

1. able to interact wif ppl
2. wif my capability, help to mak the person better, be it both mentally n physically
3. if possible, work in the medical field

think tis is really my turning pt of my life. starts to look at things in a different pt of view. consider a lot for each step taken. this is where it'll affect my for the whole life. hav to do deep consideration n think n think...

life will never b the same again..i hav to grow up..time is ticking away every breath i tak..

HIhi everyonE oUt tHere,

tIs ya fIrst BloG evEr...haAH..

Let'S fIRst iNtro mEsElf...

thOSe hu NoE mi...jUz a ReFreSh 4 ya..:p

AhEm..yA a cHEerFul gAl..alwaYs lik 2 lOok on tHe bRight siDe..bUt sOmeTimEs get dePressed oN cErtAin thingz..lik AcAd, rElatIOnships (nono, I'm nt toking bout BGR ya..juz in general)..i lik thE ppl Ard mi 2 B hAppIe..liK to cHaT lAmE sTuFF wIf fRienDs (ya noe hu u r la..hahaz)..liK to mAk fRienDs...the more the merrier:p..enJOys cOmPany of FrieNds...gt 'HigH' wiF fRienDs... hmm...oVeraLL..can juz say I'm a... KuaI KuaI Niu wIf a WiLD pErsOnaLity within...hahaz...

SoUnDS cOmPliCAted...haha...jUz a bRief la...so hAv to nOe mi PerSonallY den nOe wat I sAying le...heee...

hAv 2 siBlings @ hOme..1 bro 1 sis...bOth yOungeR...iLuV mY fAmilY lotz...thEY r thE oNes wHo gAve mi tHe cOmFort of LiFe...wIthOut tHem I wOn't b waT i Am tOdaY..tHouGh thEre're qUarRellS..but They're rEsOlved as tHe sUn goEs dOwn...tHe plAce thEy oCCupied in My HeaRt cAn nVr bE rEplAcEd...

dId I mEntIon mY dArLing...haha...RaIYan is mY GERGER..sHe's PrEtty...a 3 yr PeRsIan..shE waS aBandoNed at tHe sTArT of TiS yr..sHe wAs rOaming ard mY hSe n Blk fOr 5 dAyS...eVerytiME anYone aPPrOacheS thE cAt...sHe sUlks into dArknesS...howEver dat fAteful dAy...the fifth day...mY hSe was hAving pRaying sEssiOn...tang qing...20 oVer ppl...sHe wAlK bOldly aRd eVeryOne as if sHe hAd an InstInct dat tis family WilL aDoPt hEr...
mY aUnt..sHe aDopts 10 oVer abAndOned catS @ hEr hoMe...bRouGht RaiYAn home after 3 Days...as RaiYan was tHin to heR bOnes...aftEr 2 mThs...aftEr vaccinAtions n cHeck-upS...we Gt my DaRling baCk..fRm deN...iT's bEen 2 mThs...
sHe's sO cUtIE..!

afflinations...YI GUAN DAO...it'S wHerE i bElOnG...wHEre i gRoW...whEre mY liFeloNg bElIefS r...wiThOut i'LL b lIK a bIrD wiThoUt wIngS...a liVing thing wiThoUt aIR...
nO wORds cAN dEscRiBe mY gRadtitUde...